Won’t Allowing Emotions Make Them Worse?
The Truth About Allowing Anxiety, Fear & Emotions in TMS and Chronic Pain Recovery
One of the most common fears people have when they begin mind-body healing work is this:
“If I allow these emotions, won’t they just get bigger?”
“Surely if I allow anxiety all day, catastrophising thoughts all day, fear in my body all day… won’t that make my chronic symptoms worse?”
This fear comes up constantly for people healing:
Chronic pain
TMS symptoms
Anxiety
IBS
Fibromyalgia
Back pain
Pelvic pain
Chronic fatigue
CFS/ME
Migraines
Stress-related symptoms
Nervous system dysregulation
And honestly, this fear makes complete sense.
Most of us have spent our entire lives trying to move away from discomfort, not toward it. We’ve been taught to fix emotions, calm emotions, suppress emotions, distract ourselves from emotions, or positively think our way out of emotions.
So when someone suddenly says:
“Actually, you need to allow emotions.”
Naturally a part of us panics.
“What do you mean allow them?”
“Surely that’s dangerous?”
“Surely emotions are the thing causing my symptoms?”
In this blog, I want to explain why allowing emotions does NOT make them worse when properly understood, and why learning how to safely experience emotions is one of the most important parts of chronic pain and TMS recovery.
Why People Fear Allowing Emotions
Most people experience life almost entirely from the mind.
Meaning:
they experience themselves mainly through thoughts.
Thoughts like:
“I’m never going to get better.”
“What if this never ends?”
“I’m doing this wrong.”
“This is hopeless.”
“I’m stuck forever.”
And what are we usually taught to do when these thoughts arise?
Reframe them.
Challenge them.
Think positively.
Calm ourselves down.
Now I completely understand why people do this because these thoughts feel uncomfortable, irrational, scary, and overwhelming.
But the problem is that while these thoughts are happening, something else is also happening at the same time.
The body is reacting.
The breath is reacting.
Emotions are arising.
And most people are completely disconnected from all of that.
This is especially true for people with chronic pain, TMS, anxiety disorders, IBS, fibromyalgia, migraines, pelvic pain, and other nervous system symptoms. Many people become extremely identified with thoughts while losing connection with what’s happening emotionally and physically underneath them.
So while we’re trying to “fix” thoughts mentally, the nervous system is constantly learning something underneath all of that:
“This emotional state is not safe for me to feel.”
Why the Nervous System Wants You to Allow Emotions
This is such an important point.
Symptoms are not happening because emotions are bad.
Fear is not bad.
Anger is not bad.
Sadness is not bad.
Hopelessness is not bad.
Resistance is not bad either.
The nervous system is not trying to punish you for having emotions.
What often happens in chronic pain and TMS recovery is that the body becomes conditioned to fear emotional states because we spend years trying to escape them, suppress them, analyse them, or control them.
Over time, this creates disconnection from ourselves.
And the body knows this.
The body knows that only when we begin allowing more of our experience can we reconnect to ourselves more deeply.
One of the biggest outcomes of mind-body healing work is increased clarity and intuition.
People often ask:
“How does allowing fear or grief help me gain clarity?”
Because most people spend their whole life trying to solve problems only from the mind.
But the logic we use is often built on:
fear
people pleasing
survival
perfectionism
conditioning
trying to live on other people’s terms
So even when we think we’re being logical, we’re often making decisions from disconnected versions of ourselves.
This is why people repeat:
the same relationship patterns
the same burnout cycles
the same symptom loops
the same emotional reactions
the same stressful careers
the same nervous system patterns
Real clarity comes through allowing.
When we stop constantly interrupting and controlling our experience, space starts to emerge.
And in that space, intuition naturally begins to arise.
The Difference Between Indulging Emotions vs Embracing Emotions
This is probably the most important distinction in the entire conversation.
When I say “allow emotions,” many people think I mean indulging emotions.
But indulging and embracing are completely different things.
Indulging Emotions
Indulging emotions means identifying with them.
It means believing your thoughts and emotions ARE you.
So:
if fear arises, you think something dangerous is happening
if anger arises, you identify as an angry person
if hopelessness arises, you believe you’re hopeless
Because we identify with thoughts and emotions, we naturally try to:
fix them
soothe them
reframe them
escape them
complete them
release them
Indulging emotions is very head-based.
We stay trapped in mental analysis while subtly resisting the emotional experience underneath.
Embracing Emotions
Embracing emotions is completely different.
Embracing means learning not to identify with thoughts and instead connect to the emotional experience in the body.
Instead of asking:
“How do I stop this thought?”
We ask:
“What is this doing in my body right now?”
This means thoughts can continue in the background while we stay connected to the body.
The thoughts might still say:
“This is terrible.”
“I’m doomed.”
“I’m failing.”
“This will never end.”
But instead of trying to solve those thoughts, we begin allowing the emotional charge underneath them.
And this is where the paradox of healing begins.
Fear becomes welcome.
Doubt becomes welcome.
Resistance becomes welcome.
The part of you terrified of allowing emotions becomes welcome too.
We stop trying to identify which inner states are “bad” and instead teach the nervous system:
“All of this is safe for me to experience.”
Will Allowing Anxiety or Fear Make It Last Forever?
This is the biggest fear people have.
“Surely if I allow anxiety all day it’ll spiral.”
“Surely if I allow despair I’ll collapse.”
“What if I allow emotions and they completely overwhelm me?”
But allowing does not mean agreeing.
Allowing does not mean believing every thought.
Allowing simply means making space for what is already happening.
A huge part of chronic pain recovery and TMS healing is learning to separate:
thoughts
fromemotional experience in the body
Thoughts are temporary mental activity.
The body becomes the place we return to instead.
So even when thoughts are screaming:
“This is terrible.”
We learn to ask:
“What is this feeling like in my body right now?”
Very often what we find underneath all of this is fear.
Fear of overwhelm.
Fear of spiralling.
Fear of emotions lasting forever.
Fear of losing control.
But these fears themselves become part of the healing process.
We learn how to allow the fear too.
Emotional Release, Catharsis & “Completion”
This is another area where many people get stuck during TMS and chronic symptom recovery.
There are lots of conversations in the healing world about emotions needing to “release” or “complete.”
And while emotional release absolutely can happen naturally, it can also become another form of control.
People start meditating thinking:
“I need this emotion to release.”
“I need a breakthrough.”
“I need something dramatic to happen.”
“I need to complete this trauma.”
But that can become another way of trying to control experience.
Real allowing means learning how to be with emotions:
whether they intensify
soften
disappear
return
or do absolutely nothing
Sometimes emotions feel huge.
Sometimes nothing happens at all.
Sometimes meditation feels boring.
Sometimes journaling feels pointless.
None of this means you are doing healing wrong.
Healing is not about permanently eliminating emotions.
Healing is about teaching the nervous system that every emotional state is safe to experience.
Why Meditation Helps Chronic Pain & TMS Recovery
Meditation teaches us how to stop intellectualising our experience and instead actually experience it.
Instead of constantly analysing:
“Why do I feel this?”
“How do I stop this?”
“Am I healing properly?”
“How long will this last?”
We begin dropping into the body.
And when people consistently practice mindfulness meditation for chronic pain, anxiety, TMS, fibromyalgia, IBS, fatigue, or nervous system symptoms, they often begin noticing something fascinating:
Experience shifts incredibly quickly when we stop interfering with it constantly.
Fear appears.
Then frustration.
Then sadness.
Then numbness.
Then hunger.
Then boredom.
Then relief.
Then another emotion entirely.
The nervous system is constantly moving.
Journaling can help people recognise this as well.
Especially when journaling is done with absolutely no filter.
Not trying to sound spiritual.
Not trying to sound healed.
Just brain dumping honestly.
“I hate this.”
“I’m scared.”
“What if I never recover?”
“I don’t even want to meditate.”
“When will this end?”
And then suddenly:
“What should I eat later?”
Experience constantly changes when we stop trying to freeze and control it.
You Do NOT Need to Allow Emotions Perfectly All Day
This is incredibly important.
Many people hear about allowing emotions and think:
“Okay, so now I need to perfectly allow everything all day long.”
No.
Not at all.
Most of the allowing work happens during:
meditation
journaling
therapy
coaching
safe introspective spaces
Outside of that, you are still allowed to:
rest
self soothe
watch Netflix
spend time with friends
get into nature
slow down
distract yourself sometimes
take breaks
When allowing emotions feels too overwhelming, stepping back is completely okay.
This process is not rigid.
It is not about forcing yourself into overwhelm.
It is about gradually increasing your capacity over time.
Why Support, Therapy & Community Matter
This process can feel deeply confusing in the beginning.
Because every person’s nervous system reveals different things at different stages.
Some people go numb.
Some people feel absolutely nothing.
Some people get flooded with catastrophising thoughts.
Some people become terrified they’re doing the healing wrong.
Some people stop completely because it feels too complicated.
None of these are actual problems.
But often you don’t realise that unless someone helps guide you through it.
A therapist, mentor, or coach can help point out:
what’s arising
what’s being resisted
what parts are afraid
how to hold the paradox safely
And community becomes incredibly important too.
Because healing chronic pain, TMS, anxiety, IBS, fibromyalgia, pelvic pain, migraines, fatigue, and nervous system symptoms is not linear.
People move through different stages.
Different life situations.
Different capacities.
Some people are meditating consistently.
Some people are barely meditating at all right now.
Some people are processing huge emotional shifts.
Some people are rebuilding their life slowly.
Community reminds people:
wherever you are right now is safe too.
Inside the Pain Relief Community, this is exactly the kind of work we support people through every single day. People are guided through mindfulness, emotional processing, nervous system regulation, chronic pain recovery, TMS healing, journaling, meditation, community support, and learning how to reconnect with themselves safely over time.
Click here to find out more and join our community
Final Thoughts
So to come back to the original question:
Will allowing emotions make them worse?
No.
Not when allowing is properly understood.
We are not trying to become fearless.
We are not trying to eliminate resistance.
We are not trying to become perfectly regulated human beings who never feel uncertainty, frustration, hopelessness, grief, anxiety, or doubt again.
We are teaching the nervous system that all of these states are safe for us to experience.
This work is simple, but it is not easy.
It takes:
practice
patience
consistency
compassion
support
time
But over time, it changes far more than symptoms.
It changes your relationship with yourself entirely.
And if you want deeper support with this process, guided meditations, live calls, journaling prompts, nervous system education, and a supportive space full of people healing chronic symptoms together, you can join the Pain Relief Community below.